A Family Reunion - Properly Understood

Yeah, it’s been a while. So sue me. There are only a couple of you dopes reading this anyway! But since we are in the midst of the dog days of summer I thought I’d get back on the horse and throw down some thoughts – no doubt important only to me, but that’s what having a blog or writing on Facebook is all about, isn’t it? Self-absorbed narcissism!


Anyway, this particular summer brought forth a cousins’ family reunion in lovely Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Every 4 or 5 years, the cousins of my mother-in-law (Annick Kleinsmiede) have gotten together since the late 1980s. At that time a tragic car accident took the life of Annick’s sister and husband – The Rollets. After the initial shock, anger, and sadness had begun to dissipate (and does it really dissipate or do we find a way to just stow it in a dark corner of the soul?) it was decided that a great way to honor their memory would be for the children of Annick’s family (two sisters and a twin brother) to get together. It’s amazing isn’t it, how death focuses the mind and brings a clarity that may not have been there before. As far as I can tell in talking with certain family members, a reunion like this would have never taken place had this tragedy not occurred. But death does this. It reminds us that life is short.


The cool thing about this particular family is that they are from all over the world. My wife was born in The Netherlands as were some of the other cousins and the rest are from England, France, India, Russia and Curacao as well as here in the States. And they’ve all got kids ranging in ages from newborn to 17 years old. Forty-five people in all – which included some of the first generation siblings, who love coming to these things to see the grandkids and to remember – showed up in Ft. Lauderdale to tell stories, have fun and reconnect.


Now, this isn’t a “What I did on my summer vacation” blog. That’s for the Facebook dopes who want to tell me that they’re off to the supermarket to pick up some cereal for their obnoxious kids – all the time! I understand that a lot of people have family reunions and many of these reunions include remembering loved ones who have passed away. And in that sense this ongoing gathering of cousins isn’t much different than any of those. But the sense that I’ve gotten in attending the last two of these shindigs is the sense of history. There’s a generational thing that is very cool to be a part of. Without getting to hokey, sentimental or philosophical about it, the cousins (as do a lot of other families…I hope) are aware that collective memory is important. And only by cultivating that memory can we transfer it to the next generation.


In this, the cousins have succeeded. You only had to read some of the messages written in the “Reunion Log” that my wife left out for people to pen their thoughts, etc., to realize that the younger generation “got it.” The kids (at least the teenagers) knew what it was about and were proud to be a part of the family. They actually can’t wait for the next family reunion! Go figure. I’ve got cousins that I haven’t seen since the age of six, and I won’t ever see them again. No big deal. Even the cousins that I actually love and care for, and who I see only on a very irregular basis, would never dream (at least at the present time) of planning a reunion of this magnitude on a regular basis. I’ve been accused, rightly so, of dismissing with contempt the old axiom “blood is thicker than water.” But for the Kleinsmiede cousins it’s a fact of life.


Maybe the finely tuned scalpel of death cuts so deep as to overcome the laziness of separation. Maybe it takes a tragedy of such shocking proportions to lift the daily haze from the mind’s eye and illuminate something larger than ourselves. You’d think it wouldn’t take something like that to really bring together a family. You’d think.

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