Last Call
Looking back on these last few epistles, I’ve noticed (with the help of a few devoted readers) it has been a while since we’ve had a little fun here in the Golf Room. Epistles? Having a SAINT Peter complex, are we?! While the topics that invade this fractured mind come from many different directions and sources, I try not to get into lengthy ruts of either seriousness or humor. So while life can be hard, and the overcoming of such difficulties are part of what makes us human…let’s lighten up a bit, shall we?! Uh oh…this can’t be good. Wait a minute, did you say devoted readers? Never mind…
A couple of weeks ago I read an interesting article whose topic was the death penalty. It had the usual narrative about whether or not it’s constitutional, or a deterrent, or for that matter…moral. It also dove deeply into the topic of the scientific advances in DNA analysis and how these investigative techniques have overturned a number of convictions for criminals on death row. Very cool stuff, if you’re a dork like me. So much for the lightening up, Peter. Hold on there, Sancho – here’s where the fractured mind comes in.
You see, because it’s the crazy holiday season (Thanksgiving to Christmas), there is food everywhere. In fact, while reading said article, I was enjoying some leftover Thanksgiving morsels provided by a friend. Uh oh… Yep, you guessed it. I thought to myself, “What would be my last meal if I were on death row?” Good lord… Now, because it would be unfair to keep a great cosmic question like this to myself, I started asking around; friends, family, colleagues. A George Gallup nightmare! And you know what? Even though most everyone began their answer with, “You’re a moron!”, I got some wonderful responses. Because food is cool. It brings back memories (mostly good ones, I think). I mean, I’m not Anthony Bourdain (may he rest in peace), but this was fun. Let’s lighten up a bit!
Remember, last meal. They are about to flip the switch! Oh, some of the names have been withheld to protect the dopey.
From the colleagues department, we had two Surf-n-Turf orders (the second of which expanded to Prime rib/rack of lamb/1 Maine lobster/1 rock lobster (the B-52s? God, I’m good)/3 lb Alaskan crab legs/Yukon gold loaded mashed potatos/champagne/ shasheme/2 snickers bars). Bryan’s a big man and that’s a meal!…We had a 5-course Italian meal order with wine/Ben and Jerry’s/nachos/cherry coke/margarita/rib-eye/mashed potatos and gravy…There was Chicken Pot Pie…Mom’s lasagna…Grandma’s lasagna...Just cheesecake (Really?)…And finally an order of real ramen noodles with grilled duck heart on a fried onion ring. Leave it to Travis to really shock me. I don’t even know what any of that is, but I love it. Moving on to my idiot golf buddies, we’ve got things like…Crab cakes from the Hula Grill w/champagne…Full blown traditional Thanksgiving dinner…Lobster…Boned-in steak w/baked potato…Bacon cheeseburger and fries (golfers can be so boring)…Lobster w/butter and a bottle of gin…An egg bagel. I’m not kidding – an egg bagel.
There were a few more, but you get my point. Food is great, whether it’s the five-star meal or an egg bagel; whether it’s shared with friends and family, or just savoring the grilled-cheese sandwich and tomato soup, in front of the TV in January. It brings back memories and beckons you to plan for more. So during this holiday season…Enjoy!
Wait, Peter. Which one was yours? A certain homemade chicken parmesan. I'll take that same meal, officer…Then you can flip the switch.
A couple of weeks ago I read an interesting article whose topic was the death penalty. It had the usual narrative about whether or not it’s constitutional, or a deterrent, or for that matter…moral. It also dove deeply into the topic of the scientific advances in DNA analysis and how these investigative techniques have overturned a number of convictions for criminals on death row. Very cool stuff, if you’re a dork like me. So much for the lightening up, Peter. Hold on there, Sancho – here’s where the fractured mind comes in.
You see, because it’s the crazy holiday season (Thanksgiving to Christmas), there is food everywhere. In fact, while reading said article, I was enjoying some leftover Thanksgiving morsels provided by a friend. Uh oh… Yep, you guessed it. I thought to myself, “What would be my last meal if I were on death row?” Good lord… Now, because it would be unfair to keep a great cosmic question like this to myself, I started asking around; friends, family, colleagues. A George Gallup nightmare! And you know what? Even though most everyone began their answer with, “You’re a moron!”, I got some wonderful responses. Because food is cool. It brings back memories (mostly good ones, I think). I mean, I’m not Anthony Bourdain (may he rest in peace), but this was fun. Let’s lighten up a bit!
Remember, last meal. They are about to flip the switch! Oh, some of the names have been withheld to protect the dopey.
From the colleagues department, we had two Surf-n-Turf orders (the second of which expanded to Prime rib/rack of lamb/1 Maine lobster/1 rock lobster (the B-52s? God, I’m good)/3 lb Alaskan crab legs/Yukon gold loaded mashed potatos/champagne/ shasheme/2 snickers bars). Bryan’s a big man and that’s a meal!…We had a 5-course Italian meal order with wine/Ben and Jerry’s/nachos/cherry coke/margarita/rib-eye/mashed potatos and gravy…There was Chicken Pot Pie…Mom’s lasagna…Grandma’s lasagna...Just cheesecake (Really?)…And finally an order of real ramen noodles with grilled duck heart on a fried onion ring. Leave it to Travis to really shock me. I don’t even know what any of that is, but I love it. Moving on to my idiot golf buddies, we’ve got things like…Crab cakes from the Hula Grill w/champagne…Full blown traditional Thanksgiving dinner…Lobster…Boned-in steak w/baked potato…Bacon cheeseburger and fries (golfers can be so boring)…Lobster w/butter and a bottle of gin…An egg bagel. I’m not kidding – an egg bagel.
There were a few more, but you get my point. Food is great, whether it’s the five-star meal or an egg bagel; whether it’s shared with friends and family, or just savoring the grilled-cheese sandwich and tomato soup, in front of the TV in January. It brings back memories and beckons you to plan for more. So during this holiday season…Enjoy!
Wait, Peter. Which one was yours? A certain homemade chicken parmesan. I'll take that same meal, officer…Then you can flip the switch.
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