You Can't Pump Your Own Gas?
Happy New Year boys and girls! I hope everyone got what they wanted for Christmas and Hanukkah and I trust your resolutions are attainable, but not too easy. Peter, it’s February 1. You’re a little late for New Years’! Well, Sancho, as I’ve made my way to the back nine of life, it’s a little tougher to bounce back when the body betrays you. Also, I thought I would let people get into the swing of the new year before bothering them with this drivel. But I’m okay. Thanks for asking.
So 2022 is here and we just had a major snowstorm in the Northeast and New England, and while we keep a wary eye on COVID and its evil step-child Omicron (easier to catch but not as deadly), the Year of the Tiger starts today (February 1) in China, as well as the beginning of Black History Month here in the greatest nation on the planet. So after the deep breath and the welcoming of a New Year with all of its new beginnings, what do we talk about? How about Oregon!
Oregon? Really? Yes my dear friend...really. You see, the great state of Oregon is one of TWO states in the U.S. that still requires stations to have full service pumps. As some of you know, New Jersey is the other one. Oregon has been going back and forth in its state legislature for about 5 years trying to pass a bill allowing self-service at the pump. Really? What’s the big deal? I mean, even the dopes over in Jersey give you a choice - FULL SERVE or SELF SERVE. It’s not difficult.
But, nooooooooo. Fuel nozzle freedom fighters have had to rewrite various bills time and time again to try and get them passed in the legislature. Because many Oregonians find full-serve both character defining and convenient, up to now they can’t even pass bills that do what New Jersey does…some self-serve and some full serve. Maybe Oregonians think they or their neighbors are too stupid to pump their own gas. I mean, this is the same state that allowed the city of Portland to basically hand over a portion of itself to the thugs and rioters in 2020. Maybe they can’t be trusted.
Anyway, arguments abound for these bills to pass. Labor shortages will have less of an effect if you have self-serve; you don’t have to sit in line for 30 minutes waiting for some poor kid or even worse, an older gentleman, to run from to car to car without killing himself to try and keep everyone happy; and if it’s a little later at night, you don’t run out of gas on the Oregon Trail!
Peter, why is this annoying you so much? What do you care? Well, I guess I’m annoyed that a group of powerful people have a preference for a restrictive, ridiculous status quo over a little bit of innocuous freedom. I mean, 48 states have one form of self-service or another. That’s hundreds of millions of people who safely and effectively handle fuel nozzles without killing themselves. And they also have managed to avoid masses of out-of-work gas station attendants (which is another fear of many Oregonians). Do these people think all hell will break loose in state 49? I mean, it’s the nanny state run amok.
So here endeth my opening 2022 rant. Mr. & Mrs. Oregon; you want to have someone pump your gas because you’re a little nervous, or you’re fighting the good fight for the gas pumpers of the world, fine. No problem. But if I ever make my way to your beautiful state to play a little golf…Just don’t make me do it!
Write to: magtour@icloud.com
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