Please...Leave Them Kids Alone

    A beautiful day with clear, blue skies that seemed to stretch forever, punctuated with those tall cotton ball-like clouds that might bring rain, but for now sit majestically against the aforementioned blue sky. The oppressive heat had temporarily left the Greater Delaware Valley, but it was warm enough where the gentle breeze made the daily walk even more pleasant. Golf balls had been hit (and hit again) earlier, and it was time to just walk. 

    As usual, I had the iTunes on "shuffle songs" which meant I had no idea what type of song was coming next. You people know the drill; sometimes you'll get 3 or 4 similar songs in a row and you start getting used to that. You start walking with the downbeat of the drum, or maybe your head starts bobbing a little. This particular time, "Two Trains" (Little Feat's live version), led to The Black Crowes' "My Morning Song", which wonderfully dovetailed into the "9-11 Concert" version of The Who's "Who Are You." Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get one more...and I did...the live version of "Takin' It To The Streets." And now I'm rolling. I got what Billy Crystal used to call the white man's overbite thing going because I actually start singing. Before long I realize that dogs are howling as their owners gently guide them to the other side of the street (everyone’s a critic). It all comes to a screeching halt as "Takin' It To The Streets" morphs into Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 1 in C Major! Don't get me wrong. I love the Piano Concertos. But man, that's a tough segue! And because of the neck-wrenching, musical whiplash of that segue, I lose my footing for a second and look down in annoyance at the sidewalk as I try to convince those laughing at me that a hand reached up from under the sidewalk and tripped me. Now that's a good afternoon walk! 

    Well, my friends, it got better. As I approached the street which I normally use as the halfway point in this trek, I came out of my musical trance to see two young girls sitting at a little stand in front of a typical suburban home. The stand was one of those card tables with a cardboard sign in front of it which said, "Lemonade," followed by "and Ice," which I thought was a nice touch! It was the first lemonade stand I had seen in the area all summer. And being the supporter of entrepreneurial capitalism, I detoured!

    As I walked across the street, I could see the two youngsters whispering to each other and sitting up straight, making sure they had all their lemonade stand accoutrements neatly placed on the table. And while I'm really bad at guessing ages of kids, they couldn't have been more than 8- or 9-years old.  "Whaddya got?" I asked as I detached the earbuds from my head. "We have lemonade, sir!" said the oldest. "With ice if you want it," added the younger one. Am I allowed to be overjoyed at the use of the word "sir" by a youngster these days? Anyway, I said that lemonade with ice would be great, thank you. I got a little nervous as the one girl started lifting the large glass lemonade pitcher. "Can I help?" "No that's okay...we've got it. Thanks." I was almost in tears at the politeness and the use of the word "we've" to make sure her, I assumed, younger sister was part of the team. 

    As the older one finished filling my plastic cup, the younger one started dumping ice cubes in. This was great. The cubes were in this relatively flat, saucer-like bowl, and she was tipping the bowl toward the cup in the hopes that some cubes might land in the lemonade! I succeeded in stifling a laugh, but I was unable to prevent my smile from growing ear to ear!

    Now that the process of lemonade and ice into the cup had been completed...disaster-free...I said, "How much?" "One dollar!" they proudly replied. Priceless! Let me tell you, dear reader. We may be surrounded by socialists and other intellectual thinkers who decry the so-called failures and unfairness of capitalism, but I have hope. These two kids are carrying the fire. Why? Because the older one only filled my medium-sized cup halfway with the lemonade, and the younger one put more ice than liquid on top of it. I couldn't have been more proud! So when they told me the cost, and then said that I was their first customer of the day, I gave them $2, and said "That's one for each of you, because I was the first customer. Thank you." They immediately turned around to their father, who had been overseeing this whole encounter from the front of their home while taking pictures of this momentous occasion. They held up the bills and told him what had happened. I walked up to him and explained what I did and why, and he was also wonderful, and thankful. Laughing, he then said, "I better tell them that they shouldn't expect tips the rest of the day!" 

    We talked for a minute or two about the kids and doing things on their own and how they grow up so fast. He ended by saying he had advertised the stand on a local neighborhood Facebook page and was expecting more visitors as the day wore on. But he was very kind in thanking me for being the first and breaking the ice, as it were. And then it was time to be on my way. 

    While my return was filled with more music and the great memories of my first lemonade-stand purchase of the summer (It took me this long? Really??), my thoughts started turning to more serious matters. I know, I can't help myself. But it was just recently that Pennsylvania passed a law that made it legal for kids to actually operate lemonade stands. And by legal, I mean operate the stands without all the bureaucratic bullshit, um, I mean, red-tape (which basically means money for the government coffers) that usually accompanies opening a bar or restaurant. 

    Did you know that (assuming my research is correct) there are only 15 states that allow lemonade stands without a permit? California, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, N. Dakota, Nebraska, Texas, Missouri, Louisiana, Illinois, New York, Vermont, Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Pennsylvania. C'mon...what do the leaders of the other 35 States think; these stands are going to crater the local economies? For the love of Adam Smith, can we leave these kids alone? Morons... Those 35 states pile on Health Department Guidelines, Local Ordinance and Zoning Rules, Business License Requirements, Vendor's Permit AND Inspections. STOP already! 

    These are kids whose parents are helping to teach them valuable life lessons. Whether it be the first steps to financial literacy, learning to interact with adults (which, by the way, my two young hosts did with aplomb), or something as simple (and maybe more important) as doing a task on their own without having a smartphone in their hands. 

    When I started looking up what the rules and regs were for this type of thing, as well as finding out what states were disgustingly overbearing in their treatment of lemonade stands and which ones were not, I ran across hundreds of sites devoted to this topic. There is even one site, with a photograph (I'm assuming it was staged) of a little girl at some middle-aged, government functionaries' desk, signing one paper after another. The gods save us...

    Look, I know we need rules and regulations for an orderly and safe society. No rules and regulations...you get anarchy. But, and there's always a "But", we surely do not need all of them. Common sense should prevail some of the time, right? Not every aspect of our lives, especially kids' lives, needs to be adjudicated to the nth degree. It's bad enough when parents micromanage their kids lives right down to the last second. Doesn't government have better things to do than to follow suit? 

    Anyway...if you're out taking a walk and you happen to see a lemonade stand, please...stop and buy some. And talk to the proprietors. They're great kids. Like me, maybe some of you had a lemonade stand when you were young. Try to remember how much fun it was and how you didn't have to worry about the overbearing, gargantuan, nanny state trying to run every little subset of American life. And if you live in a state that's a little more, shall we say, overbearing...write your local legislator. Tell him or her, in the words of Pink Floyd, "Leave Them Kids Alone."

write to Peter: magtour@icloud.com