Really? A Sex Strike?

    The reality that Donald Trump will be the next president of our fair nation is finally sinking in. And while plenty of people are losing their minds, none more so like liberal women – some of whom are, quite literally, fearing for their lives and freedoms right now. So, in light of the fact that I didn't vote for either of the two main party candidates (I voted for the Libertarian guy), I get to make fun of everyone else and try and write a humor piece! And away we go!

    Over in the Star Trek parallel universe, women have been convinced by whoever or whatever, that Trump is about to start personally tracking their menstrual cycles and throwing red cloaks over them like in The Handmaid’s Tale. They are pissed off. And they want you to know about it. I mean, Trump’s an idiot...but c’mon people. On the other hand, every time I saw a Harris commercial during the campaign, all I could think of was Michael Dukakis in that army tank, sticking his head out of the hatch with the headset on that made him look like a "Whack-a-Mole" target! Like Harris, with the commercial showing her stating that she was in favor of every criminal in the California penal system receiving sex-change, or transgender, surgeries, all on the taxpayer's tab, you knew the election was over right then and there. I realize I’m showing my age with the Dukakis reference, but that wasn’t a good look for Harris. 

    Enter “4B”, an online movement that originated in South Korea, which encourages young women to say no to four things; heterosexual sex, dating, marriage and children. (Don’t ask me how homosexual sex got a pass because I don’t know. Call the South Koreans.) Having typed that, I suddenly remembered that I said no to four things at the same time once. I believe those things were my mother’s tuna fish casserole; never again playing quarterback for an organized football team, because I wasn’t very good and a bunch of guys on the other team were trying to kill me; any cheesesteak that didn’t originate from the hall-of-fame worthy V&S Pizzeria, sadly under new management now; and letting my dear friend, the late Jack Pepper control the radio when I drove us anywhere...which was most of the time. I kid you not, if I’m within the slightest earshot of a Hank Williams, Jr. song, my head explodes. On the other hand, Hank, Jr. brings back great memories. But I digress... 

    This “4B” movement is described by some as a “fringe feminist movement” that peaked in South Korea in 2018. The movement, however, has since gained some traction in this great land of ours since the election. Just recently, NBC reported that searches for “4B” surged to “record levels in the US” and were among the top trending searches for 48 hours in the wake of Trump’s victory. Typically, this has been driven by those American ladies who, back in 2016, thought that wearing a vagina-hat would shake the patriarchy to its very foundations. And can I digress for a moment to wonder, why in the name of all that is right and holy can we not get ANY news organization to print or say the words, “Today, searches for Fromthegolfroom.blogspot.com surged to record levels in the US and is trending at an exponential rate! Film at 11:00!” So sad. I try to get him to stop, people...honest! Anyway...

    “No more kitty-kat for moderate men,” said one 4B joiner on social media. “No matter how kind, how respectful, how cute, men will still fucking hate you,” a different young woman recorded herself saying. She added: “I’m gonna start barking and getting fucking crazy.” You know things have gone beyond crazy when moderate men can’t get, uh, what was the phrase she said... “kitty kat”? These are actual quotes, kids! And let me state for the record that I do not want a woman anywhere near me who utters the euphemism “Kitty-Kat”…on purpose. Grow up. By the way, I’m doing my best to ignore the barking comment. Because that just screams to be made fun of.

    Another woman, whose greying locks indicated she was old enough to know better, told women to give “no attention to men. Delete and block them. Do not respond to them.” Some have even filmed themselves shaving their heads in an attempt to make themselves look unappealing to men. Are you kidding me? Do women really think that shaving their heads will make them look unattractive to men? Really? Haven’t we established that men are dopes? Did these women not see the Mad Max movie reboot with a bald Charlize Theron? Wait, I’m sorry, I meant to type, a bald, smoking-hot, Charlize Theron. Forgive the mild sexism there. But, c’mon... Or for you hardcore, nerdy, sci-fi, Star Trek fans, there’s Star Trek: The Motion Picture, with the equally bald, and equally smoking-hot actress Persis Khambatta (may she rest in peace). Beautifully bald in that film! Actually, she may be the only female alien that Kirk didn't sleep with! Trust me when I tell you, ladies, there are millions of young males out there who beg their girlfriends and wives to shave their heads at least once in their relationship. Even the idiocy that was Sinead O’Connor couldn’t keep that train from leaving the station. Shaving your heads won’t keep men from wanting to sleep with you. Trust me. 

    Now, on the other hand...it’s the rare man that can pull off the bald look. Take me, for example. Do we have to? If I were to shave my head, I would look like Fred Mertz, Lucy and Desi’s neighbor in I Love Lucy! That’s not a good look. I’ll keep what I have left of my coif, thank you very much. The only men who really pull off that bald look are Michael Jordan, my stepfather Duane, and Telly Savalas, with the lollipop in his mouth every episode...classic! (Again, rest in peace). They are the rare exceptions as well as being Bald Brotherhood, Hall-of-Famers. But I digress.

    Of course, there’s an argument to be made here that these women are just venting, as is their right. Perhaps we should just ignore them and let them sex-strike until they tire themselves out. That works for me. 

    However, it also brings concerns to mind. First, what has corporate media done to the minds of so many people that drives them to express pure, unadulterated hostility towards their fellow countrymen (let alone their partners) for having a different political opinion? I mean, why in the name of Romeo and Juliet would you bring a political happening that takes place on a national scale once every four years into your bedroom? Really? Because your man voted for Trump? You can’t just play Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill on the BOSE for a week? Trust me, nothing says angry woman like that album. Great, great, Hall-of-Fame album...very, very angry woman.

    Of course, these women would say their bodily autonomy and self-determination are on the line, hence their high levels of rage. And trust me, I get that. But there is a big element of hysteria here. Trump is not a steadfast anti-abortion crusader, and has said multiple times that he would not institute a nationwide ban on abortion. Now you can believe him or not. And you can be galactically annoyed that he is about to become President...again! I know I am. But that’s a completely different issue. 

    Then there’s the fact that most of these women are on the left side of the political spectrum. I’m going to throw a dart here, but let us assume that most of these women are against cultural appropriation, right? Well, as I stated earlier, this is a South Korean thing. Nothing screams “cultural appropriation” like stealing a South Korean sex-strike move! Be consistent ladies...that’s all we ask. You realize you’re a dead man, don’t you? It won’t be the first time, my little politically incorrect friend.

    Also, this liberal female rage is, dare I say it, just a tad narcissistic. It puts the issue of abortion, however important it is, in a special sacred category that must come before economic survival, freedom of expression and parental rights. That take has already proven to be a vote-loser. Just ask Kamala Harris. 

    The reality is that many people today have been primed to think in exaggerated, black-and-white, catastrophic terms by years of, in my worthless opinion, woke indoctrination in schools and online. They really do think that Trump is going to turn America into some kind of Christian fundamentalist dystopia, despite what the evidence actually shows. Again, the man’s a moron, but he’s not the first moron that’s been elected president (or, elected twice, as it were), and unfortunately, he won’t be the last. We will survive. All hail Gloria Gaynor!

    Hopefully, once the sex-strikers’ temper tantrum comes to an end, they’ll come back down to reality. 

    Oh, by the way. Speaking of cultural appropriation, the South Koreans themselves, stole the whole sex-strike idea from that Hall-of-Fame, Greek playwright, Aristophanes (applause, please). Aristophanes wrote a play way, way back in 411 B.C., titled Lysistrata. The story depicts Athenian women who go on a sex strike in order to influence male behavior. They’re trying to get their lovers and husbands to agree to stop fighting in the Peloponnesian War against the Spartans. “Don't you guys know what will happen to us if the Spartans win?” The play is a great comedy, but it’s undertone is (like most great literature) about life and death.

    I guess that today the plan, apparently, is to re-enact Lysistrata but just make it lame.

Write to Peter: magtour@icloud.com