Please...Put The Phone Down

    Well, it’s that time again, boys and girls…that’s right…it’s Get Off My Lawn time! I mean, I could have gone with the old stand-by, Hamas’ attempt to destroy Western Civilization (trust me, we’ll return to that), or something even more important…my golf game! But let’s stick with something that I’m sure all of us can find uncommon ground, shall we? That’s right, cell phones! You really are an idiot.

    Did you know that bans on cell phones in schools have become popular across this great land of ours, as well as in many countries around the world? Well, I got to thinking that adults should follow the schools’ lead. I know, I know, cell phones have had a profound impact on society. But despite that wonderful fact, I believe our mobile devices are damaging the public sphere and disconnecting us from each other.

    Without question, phones have given individuals more power to connect, compute, share, and consume than most people could have imagined mere decades ago. Families and friends can communicate instantaneously around the world just as real and fake news can spread immediately. I fondly remember the limited features on my first cell phone, calling one of the golf gang when I was playing out of Sand Barrens Golf Club and I got my first, and ONLY, hole-in-one! Hopefully, more are on the way! But for all of the benefits of constant connectivity, the negatives must be kept in check.

    The constant connectivity of modern phones, now paired with noise-cancelling headphones, cuts individuals off from their physical environment and others and this is harming us. And if I may be so bold, let me offer a few examples. 

    First, public transit is littered with phone addiction. I have seen this too many times on public transit systems along the east coast. In Boston, students pack themselves into the Green Line streetcars without talking or making eye contact with one another. In Philadelphia, morning commuters are so distracted and immersed in their phones they can’t be bothered to move into subway cars or help out others who may need a hand, making it difficult to move around on the subways. Forget about people making eye contact, or small talk, or having a newspaper or book out to trigger any interaction; the train cars are silent, like the slow boat going down the river Styx on its way to Hades, except for some nitwit occasionally blasting music without headsets. And we don’t even want to talk about New York. If you’re not getting mugged or worse, you’re keeping your head down with your earbuds in, hoping against hope you remember to get off at the right stop. That’s right...less than zero interaction.

    The second interaction was in the local bulk shopping warehouse, BJs, where sampling of foods is well known. On one of my recent trips, I found that most of those in the store are on or plugged into their phones which causes them to miss the famous samples! These stores have seemingly lost all signs of life; there is no friendly chatter or customer service. When it came time to check out, the line was close to 40 deep despite numerous registers being open. The shoppers were so distracted and unaware of their environment that they waited in line for significant amounts of time while cashiers waited by empty check-out belts. Really? I mean, I love buying in bulk, and buying cheap…but I can’t get out of there fast enough! 

    Lastly, and not to make this all about ME, but do we really need people yapping into their phones on the golf course with whomever, in the middle of MY back swing? For the love of Alexander Graham Bell...Stop! I’m begging you! AND...Uh-Oh, he’s on a roll now...do people really need to use their phones for blaring music as I’M ready to tee off?? I love music. You know that. But, c’mon; I can do without Scenes From An Italian Restaurant, Freebird or Fire and Rain for a few hours, can’t you? We can converse, can’t we? I love to talk! Watch this! “Hey! How’s it going?” or “How’s the family?” Maybe, “Do you think we’re making all the right moves in the Middle East?” Better yet, “Who do you got in the NCAA’s?” And to top it all off, “Taste Great or Less Filling?” “Anything?” Jesus…turn your phone off! I’m pretty sure I’m not going out on a limb here, but not all of you are brain surgeons who need to be on call 24/7. Are you done, Boss? Yes, Sancho. Sorry about that. I might have gotten a little carried away.

    Anyway, here’s what I think. Phones are damaging our ability to connect with those around us. This behavior needs to stop and people need to pay attention to the unmediated world in which they are embedded. It is no surprise Gallup finds that almost half of Americans say people have gotten ruder since the COVID-19 pandemic; nearly half of adults here in the US (47%) say people are behaving more rudely in public these days than before the pandemic, and 80% comment that they regularly see rude behavior when they go out in public. Are people being deliberately rude or simply disconnected from everything around them? I mean, I understand there are some out there who just don’t like people and will do anything not to be sociable. But, here’s a headline: We are social animals. 

    It doesn’t matter how well we build and design spaces for social interaction if no one can interact because they are digitally distracted. As William H. Whyte, who studied New York City’s public spaces famously said in The Social Life of Small Urban Spaces over 40 years ago, “What attracts people most, it would appear, is other people.” What good is a great public space or a café if patrons and visitors are physically in the space but focused on screens, listening to music, and connecting virtually rather than with those in real space and time? Whyte’s well-established finding is irrelevant if we are unaware of the other people around us and would rather be focused on our phones and not others.

    Numerous studies are telling us that we are lonely and isolated even in the presence of others because we are not authentically connecting in person; intermediated connections are not equivalent. Our ability to process information and think critically is changing by rampant phone use. It is well established in psychology that small talk, random interactions, and even weak ties do open us up as humans for deeper connection with others; small talk is often “a gateway to more meaningful connections.”

    Look, I’m no Luddite. I love technology. I love my phone, my computer, etc. I love the fact that I can stream/binge my favorite TV shows at night when I can’t sleep and I don’t want to be a bother. But something has to change. I would really like to lecture right now and say, “Read a book” or “Sit back and listen to Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos.” However, those too, are solitary exercises. But do them anyway!! See what I did there? Moron...

    The solution to fixing many of these problems is really simple: Put your phone away. It is there for emergencies, looking up information or directions, or snapping and sharing photos when needed. But it doesn’t need to be out and on all the time. We seem to understand these ideas now when it comes to children and their learning, focus, and friendships. It seems we must learn them for ourselves, as well.

Write to Peter: magtour@icloud.com