The Ancients Had Him Pegged Long Ago

    [Note: Just after this piece was completed and published, President Trump and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman held a press conference where, among other topics, they commented on the murder of The Washington Post journalist, Jamal Khashoggi back in 2017. The Crown Prince denied any involvement, and Trump wholeheartedly agreed, finishing with the words, “Things happen.” Everything I would like to say about that will have to wait for a few hours as I am trying to learn not to type angry. My sincerest apologies. Enjoy…!]

    History lesson, kids! The Greek philosopher Theophrastus (c. 371-287 B.C.) replaced Aristotle as head of the philosophical school in Athens known as the Academy; and later on as the Lyceum. In our day he is best known for his essays on moral conduct. Seldom running more than two or three pages, and published centuries later in England under the title “Characters,” these essays feature weaknesses and defects, minor sins and similarly minor vices. 

    For example, the essay on “The Braggart” begins: “Bragging is pretending to have excellences that one does not really possess.” The one on “The Bore” has it that “we may define the bore as a man who cannot refrain from talking.” These essays read with a particular pertinence in the age of Donald Trump.

    Among the other essays of Theophrastus are “The Tactless Man,” “The Shameless Man,” “The Stupid Man,” “The Surly Man,” “The Thankless Man,” “The Garrulous Man,” “The Gross Man,” “The Avaricious Man,” “The Oligarch” and “The Vicious Man.”

    The puzzling aspect of Mr. Trump for so many of his supporters lies in his ability to detract from his often quite genuine accomplishments with persistent flaws in his character. I have read in various outlets that in private he can be agreeable, even somewhat charming and winning. But in public the president qualifies under the category of Theophrastus’ “The Pompous Man,” where “pompousness is contempt for everyone save oneself.”

    I mean, Trump can’t even pronounce the name Biden without it seeming as if he is spitting out something with broccoli in it! (My apologies to broccoli lovers, but c’mon…broccoli? But I digress.) Never showing even the slightest sympathy for a man, Joe Biden, obviously well gone into senility. Or better yet: Half a decade later, Mr. Trump continues to insist that the 2020 presidential election was stolen from him. Does he truly believe it? Or is he here merely acting out the work of Theophrastus’ “The Dissembler,” who has “an affectation, whether in word or action, to make things seem other than they really are.” Meanwhile, the men and women who work for Trump are, in his words, “fantastic,” “incredible,” “awesome,” until, well, they aren’t…at which point he fires them. His ideal cabinet member is Theophrastus’ “The Flatterer,” who engages in “a cringing sort of conduct that aims to promote the advantage of the flatterer.” There is another, more modern, gutter-like phrase for that type of person, but this is a family website…sort of. Anyway…!

    Does Trump’s endless insulting of “the fake news” fall under that category of “The Surly Man” or “The Impudent Man”? Tough call. But to cover Trump, Theophrastus needed still more characters, for the president is also a member in good standing of that large group of (chiefly) men who overrate their charm. He is also without measure or modesty. I mean, has there ever been a president who, ad nauseam, continually says he has brought America to greatness instead of waiting for history to pronounce its judgement on the subject?

    Perhaps one should simply align Mr. Trump with “The Disagreeable Man.” This man engages in “a kind of conduct which is annoying though it may not be injurious.” The Trump Derangement Syndrome crowd thinks otherwise, preferring to find Mr. Trump to be dangerous, a dictator, authoritarian, a Nazi even - damnable in every way. I believe that Theophrastus, with his portraits of many human flaws, comes closer to the truth. 

Write to Peter: magtour@icloud.com