The Guy With The Nazi Tattoo

    Readers of The Golf Room, I have some very, very shocking news for you. Are you sitting down? Do you have your smelling salts handy? Maybe your favorite bourbon on the stand next to you? Good. Now, remember when Americans of a certain philosophical and/or political outlook yelled and screamed “BELIEVE ALL WOMEN” incessantly, for about a million years?

    Well, you are simply not going to believe this, but… they did not actually mean all women. Sorry, but it seems it was all a misunderstanding. They meant “only women who are affiliated with, or working on behalf of, a certain national party's agenda.” I hope this clears things up. I mean, how else can you spin Graham Platner – the ‘humble’ 41-year-old oyster farmer who was recently selected as the Democratic United States Senate candidate for the great state of Maine? Really?

    Platner, who will face longstanding Republican senator Susan Collins in November’s midterm elections, has, shall we say, a few skeletons in his closet. He won in spite of a tsunami of accusations from women, alleging aggressive and dishonest behavior going back years. These include a truckload of infidelities, claims of assault by one former partner, as well as homophobic slurs. Oh, and one last thing: Platner has a big fat Nazi tattoo on his chest. For the past 18 years, his right pectoral has been decorated with a Totenkopf – a symbol widely used by the SS, the Nazi regime’s elite guard. Yes, I agree. He is an all-around, first-class, piece of shit human being. 

    Bernie Sanders, the socialist United States senator from Vermont and folk hero for addled rich-kid Commies, summed up the vibe nicely: “Is he a saint? I guess not.” Well, now. That’s one way of putting it, Senator. 

    Platner is what The New York Times considers to be “a fiery populist running on his working class credentials.” Yet, even there, we cannot be so sure. Turns out, he is a legacy member of the professional managerial class. As The Wall Street Journal reported, his grandfather was a well-respected architect who designed high-end interiors, including Windows on the World in the former World Trade Center. His father, a Democratic Party supporter and lawyer, sent him to private schools and fronted him $200,000 for his mortgage. This is what Democrats consider to be “an authentic working-class voice.”

    Ever since Kamala Harris’ loss to Donald Trump in 2024, Democrats have been trying to figure out how to win back the blue-collar men they lost when they jumped with both feet into toxic, woke, identity-driven politics and left behind bread and butter, commonsense economics that appealed to a broad base of Americans.

    A year ago, it was revealed that the Democrats had spent $20 million on a report titled “Speaking With American Men: A Strategic Plan.” The consultants recommended things like: ‘Shift from a moralizing tone’ and ‘Study the syntax,’ language and content’ that men use online. This creepy, slightly shapeshifter play to insinuate their way back into the hearts of real men was heavy on style and light on substance.

    Platner, it seems, is the Democrats’ new and improved plan. At least he is a combat veteran who knows how to do manly things, like be a harbormaster. Even though Dems may have thought they found a rough-and-tumble guy’s guy, what came out about Platner during the primary is evidence that he is just another theater kid who is acting a part – just like Kamala acted the role of heroic African-American crusader for justice (she was neither of those things…still isn’t), and just like Joe Biden acted the role of wise grandpa of the nation (c’mon…he was barely sentient). The Democrats haven’t nominated an actual authentic, one of the boys, or girls, for that matter human being, since Bill Clinton…no matter how hard they try.

    Platner’s rise within the Democratic Party is very much attributable to the fact that its current leadership would not recognize a ‘real man’ if they tripped over one. All that matters is that he looks like what they imagine a real man to be. He wears baseball caps! He’s hairy! Oh, yes, he’s also got more than a questionable history with women and, uh…oh yeah, that Nazi tattoo. But that’s normal for these people, right? That’s how little they think of working-class men. (And trust me. The Right is just as, if not more, guilty in this regard, what with their slurping, hero-worship of the megalomaniac currently occupying the Oval Office. But we’ll get back to that.)

    However, none of the above, specifically, cheering lustily for an ideological descendent of Hitler, matters to the Democratic Political Caucus. They just want to keep their grift going: the non-profit gravy train, the community-organizer slush fund, the labor-union racket, the cushy government jobs – this is what they are out to protect, rather than the hunting and fishing classes.  

    Most of all, these people are in it for the vainglorious grandstanding, the fulminating against an imaginary ‘far right,’ and those sweet gigs talking up the party line on networks and talk shows that nobody watches anymore. 

Write to Peter: magtour@icloud.com