Friends

    Lately, I've been concerned while reading more than a few pieces on friendships; specifically male friendships. Every outlet from CNN to FOX to VOX is writing about how young men are not making and/or retaining deep meaningful friendships with other men. And, it's a problem. 

    Study after study talks about how young heterosexual men, while embracing their relationships with wives or girlfriends, are not doing the same with their buddies, pals...guy friends. Call it a friendship recession. Between 1990 and 2021 the percentage of men who had 6 close friends fell by half; one in five men say they have no close friendships. Social isolation can contribute to Alzheimer's, heart disease, high blood pressure, and worse. This isolation or lack of close friendship can also contribute to societal violence. Why is this happening? Young men are living with their parents longer and not making stronger male bonds outside the home. Young men are more likely today to grow up in a divorced/broken home and do not have the proper male role models to help them forge friendship bonds. The list goes on and on. And look, I don't know what to do about it. I'm not a psychologist/psychiatrist. I don't even play one on TV. What I do know, and what I read that reinforces what I know, is that young men seem to be lonely, to be unable to verbalize their feelings, fears, loves, and yes...even simple interests. Feel free to Google "Young Male Friendship Crisis." You will get over 96 million hits! It's a problem, and it needs to be dealt with. More about this anon. But in the meantime, allow me to offer, dear reader, a different narrative...

    For those of you who don't follow my yapping on Facebook, I re-posted a favorite photograph of a group of gentlemen, if they can be called that, having a wonderful time this past September at the home of one, Mr. Phillip Cooper. Old friends might not recognize Phil in this photograph, as his part-time public persona, lately, or at least during the NFL season, is to transform into an avian-like creature all dressed and painted in green and brown who, quite frankly, is unrecognizable as the mild-mannered Phil Cooper. Think of The Hulk for Eagles fans...except not quite as big, and less scary! We'll get back to Phil in a minute, but for our purposes today, Phil is part of a clan of wonderful knuckleheads whose birthdays happen to coincide during the summer; also, these so-called gentlemen all graduated in the same year from the same high school. And yes, they all know each other...quite well. May the gods have mercy on our souls!

    And may I digress for a second to tell you two things; 1) I got lost driving to this shindig. I mean, I knew I'd get lost as I had not been to this part of Yardley, Pa., in a long, long time. As one left turn morphed into another, I finally made a desperate phone call...yes, to John Dardes, who was more than happy to revel in my lostness! Peter, lostness isn't even a word! I think! You're killing me Sancho! Anyway, as I FINALLY pulled up to the Cooper Estate (still on the phone and making sure I locked all the doors and turned on the security measures, as well as attached The Club, because it is, you know...Yardley!), I walked around the corner, past the statues, and up the long scenic hill to the back yard (where I was told to enter). Lo and behold, I look up and see what you, dear reader, see in the photograph...only from the other side; A HUGE FREAKING HOLE IN THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE! I said to myself, "Coop, you son of a bitch! You got us all to show up here and rebuild your wall!" Little did I know at that moment it was a retractable (via buttons), sliding wall! Very cool... At one point during the all day and night gathering Phil had to say, "Pete, quit playing with the damn wall!"; and 2) when I walked into this beautiful sitting room and indoor/outdoor bar, these wonderful dopes were going through yearbooks that Phil had set out, either in friendship or evil treachery. As I sat with the aforementioned Original G, all we heard as these guys were studying those yearbooks like they were Torah or some other ancient Gnostic literature containing secret wisdom, were phrases like, "I went out with her!", or "Yeah...she really wanted me!" Really? If any of us had gone anywhere near most of these wonderful young women...they'd have called security! And if memory serves...some did! That's right...men are dopes...men are pigs! Even the cool ones like all of us at this gathering!! Anyway...

    I will let you, dear reader, guess who is who in the above photo. To be fair, I will give one hint. It seems that I have gotten a few calls and e-mails after the original posting of this photograph asking, "Peter, how did you guys get Brad Pitt to attend this party? That's crazy! And why is he not out front instead of hiding in the back right behind The Original G!" Well, that's not Brad Pitt, but the confusion is understandable! Peter, you are such a dope! Some people actually thought it was Chris Hemsworth! But that's another story! Now, you're just delusional, possibly psychotic!! Anyway... Oh, and by the way, in case some of you are wondering why the estimable Richard Applegate is not in this picture, it's because as most of you are aware, Mr. Applegate likes to make an entrance! He showed up AFTER this photo was taken, because, yes, the big-guy loves to make an entrance! I just had to type that...love you, Apps!

    The important thing to know is that all of these wonderful, Hall-of-Fame dopes in the picture (and the guy that came LATER!) never had the issues I wrote about above. Even back in the day, there never seemed to be a problem with emotional sharing, male bonding, close friendships...dare I say, a lack of friends, period. And not to be a sentimentalist about it, or worse yet, a romantic (which I was accused of the day this picture was taken!), it has gotten even better as the years went on. This gathering was an extension of previous parties (this was my first invite to what seemed to be the all-Yardley reunion...that's right, Peter Brent Hall, the token Levittowner!) and get togethers where friendships were renewed and strengthened, and we knew when it was over that the lines of communication would always be open. If any of you are reading this...I love you guys! 

    Peter, why are you writing about this now...two days before Christmas? That's a great question, my friend. I should have done this months ago. I guess every time that I wrote it in my head, it just wasn't good enough. And I hate that feeling. On the other hand, it works out. You see, even though it was September, this reunion became, for me anyway, an early Christmas present. I had not seen many of these gentlemen in years. For reasons that I'm not going to go into...this gathering meant a lot to me. And come Christmas morning I'm going to find a little quiet time, look at this photograph and say again to myself, what I'm going to type right now; thanks for the invitation gentlemen...and thank you Phil Cooper for being the best host. Embrace your friends everyone! And just talk. Happy Holidays, everyone!

[Editor's note: A previous version of this piece had the reunion taking place in June. It was, in fact, September. Peter's old, and an idiot. He begs your forgiveness!]

write to Peter: magtour@icloud.com