Satan, Pull Up a Chair!

     A couple of weeks ago, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) filed a suit against a school district here in Pennsylvania. It seems the Saucon Valley School District (which is up in Lehigh Valley in the northeastern part of the state) has dismantled the "After School Satan Club," a program sponsored by the Satanic Temple. The school district alleged the club neglected to inform them that it was not formally sponsored by said district. The ACLU says the club was banned because of angry parents. Now, the Satanic Temple has chapters all over the country, so they felt it necessary to fight back. And away we go!

    Saucon Valley is not the first school district to feel it necessary to ban the "After School Satan Club." These clubs have sprouted up in places like Colorado, Ohio, Virginia, California, and New York. And every single one of them has caused the silliness, let alone the desire to trample on a person's rights of expression and free speech, like the one in Saucon Valley. I mean, you've got parents talking about how "Satan is here to kill and destroy," while similar parental nitwits talk about how the United States is "one nation under God" and that to deny Satan a place in a public school is necessary and prudent. To top it all off, you get a guy like Frank DeVito of the Napa Legal Institute, a conservative-Catholic think tank, talking about how the Satan clubs justify bringing back our nation's pre-World War II tradition of blasphemy laws. Maybe Frank should go across the street to one of the Napa vineyards and have a bottle...jack-ass. This is what happens when Biblical literalism takes over a normally educated mind. 

    Anyway, before the e-mails, phone calls, and Facebook posts start rolling in (although whenever I write about something the least bit incendiary, I hear crickets from the Facebook crowd...but that's okay), let's be clear about a few things. First of all, the "After School Satan Club" kids (and the vast majority of modern Satanists) do not literally worship Satan. They promote free inquiry and rationalism. They also do not believe in introducing religion into public schools. They will ONLY open a club if the school district has already allowed other religions to operate on the school grounds. The Satanic Temple openly rejects the supernatural, using Satan's name and image for shock value (obviously, they have been successful). But let's say they were actually worshipping Satan. The obvious response to that is, "So what?" Like most things in America, that's an issue for the parents and their kids to talk about. There's little anyone else could, or should, do about it. To embrace American pluralism, at the very least they should be defended...and at the most, just ignored. 

    Now, I know what my evangelical/fundamentalist friends are thinking (and you know who you are!); "Peter has literally turned to the dark side. Let's all pray for his soul." Stop, please? I get beaten over the head daily by dear friends and family lamenting my self-proclaimed "Gnostic Sect of One" beliefs. Let's stipulate for the moment that these people are sincere in their rationalism, etc., just like you guys are sincere in telling me something is true even when you can't show it, prove it, or otherwise offer any explanation as to its validity besides, "Because the Bible says so" or "faith." See what I'm getting at? Can we do that just for this moment? Thanks. I know, I'm sounding a bit harsh on my believing friends and family...but sometimes I get frustrated and I'm just not as mature as I think I am. I love you guys. Anyway...back to our regularly scheduled broadcast!

    It seems to me that what these clubs want to do, based on what I've read [and let me repeat that; BASED ON WHAT I'VE READ!], is to embrace and offer religious/theological competition. As secular humanists they are not unlike Thomas Paine and the rest of the Founding Fathers who were deists. Like me (in temperament but not in kind), they attempt to challenge religious orthodoxy while also attempting to goad secular and religious institutions into responding to them. To embrace debate, as it were. Word up, to embracing debate! Peter, you are such a dork. The transcendentalists of the mid-19th century did this, as well as the radical atheists in the 1920s. And if the public institutions attempt to respond to their challenges with the force of law, they will rightly cry foul.

    Look, when these Satan/Atheist/Gnostic/Buddhist/Whatever clubs are banned it just feeds the fire. You then get the ACLU or Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE...a great organization, by the way), or whoever involved and they force ALL the religious clubs and organizations to be banned by the school, or from some other public space. The Supreme Court has already ruled (in 2004, Good News Club vs. Milford Central School) that public schools, acting as a "limited public forum" outside of school hours, cannot discriminate on the basis of religion. The Supreme Court has also said that the "Free Exercise" clause applies not only to belief, but to non-belief as well. If a school wants to have a "High-Fives for Yahweh and Christ" club, you gotta have a "Peter Brent Hall is the Messiah" club, as well! Now wouldn't that be a great club! You really are an idiot. 

    Anyway, what are the options here? You can do what Texas did a few years back. When some kids tried to organize a Gay-Straight Alliance club, the school banned ALL clubs. Really? Districts in Georgia and Utah tried to do the same thing. Religious groups may face the same fate. You can't be a public forum for some of the people. Now, to their immense credit, some Christian groups are using, how do I put this delicately...more enlightened methods in responding to the Satan clubs. They've adopted a non-aggression policy. They don't engage or oppose. They live and let live. Even some parents in California have recanted their opposition in their local school districts to the Satan clubs when they found out that, you guessed it, the clubs do not literally worship Satan. That's pluralism, kids...not to mention, using one's intellect! You can't just throw somebody out of the public square merely for the act of offense. That's why Google allows me and many others to keep on typing. 

    Like me, the Satan clubs cause no direct harm. They just challenge the relationship between religious (especially Christian) institutions and the state. Schools should leave these kids alone and defend their right to exist when idiot parents call for their banishment. The mere mention of Yahweh or Satan or Allah should not be enough for us to abandon our ideals. If you are of a weak mind and need a safe space to soothe your frayed emotions, have at it. I'll build a safe space for you. Not a good idea, boss. You suck with tools. Oh, yeah. Ok, I'll say a prayer...

write to Peter: magtour@icloud.com