True

     A little over three years ago in January of 2020, a young boy in North Carolina was born to a woman with a significant history of child maltreatment. It took only a few days for the state's Department of Social Services to move in and remove True from his mother (giving him a cool name like True was no doubt the only decent thing mom had ever done for her son) and place him with veteran, five-star foster parents Ginger and Scott Rhoads. At this point the federal and state guidelines/laws kicked in and a plan was developed to, hopefully, reunite mother and son as soon as was feasible. Alas, this was not to be. The mother did not in any way, shape, or form adhere to her end of the process. Her most glaring omission (among others) was that starting when True was six weeks old, she failed to visit or have any contact whatsoever with her son or the foster parents for 13 consecutive months, well beyond the state's official definition of abandonment. As if that's not bad enough, it took the state another 25 months of unsuccessful reunification efforts (again, far beyond federal guidelines) to convince themselves and the child's guardian ad litem (the person overseeing this process) to FINALLY recommend that True's case be amended to adoption. The Rhoads, the only parents True had ever known, were ready, willing, and able to adopt him. This seems like a no-brainer, happy-ending, boss! You would be wrong, Sancho. Instead, in the state's infinite wisdom, the Social Services department just recently removed True from the only family he had ever known for over 3 years and deposited him in ANOTHER foster home with a family he had never met and who had no plans to adopt him.

    Now, what would possess the nitwits at this particular agency to display such reckless disregard for a youngster's attachment to his family? Because that's what these 3 human beings were...a family.

    In the past I have co-opted the great quote by Don Ohlmeyer, the former executive at NBC Sports: "The answer to all of your questions, is money." Well, one corollary to that quote is: "The continuing national conversation in this country, for better and for worse...is race." And that's what this is about. You see, young True is black, and the Rhoads are white.

    Not too long ago a complaint had been filed with the Office of Civil Rights and Department of Health and Human Services. The complaint stated that Guilford County, North Carolina (where this story takes place), was "Removing African-American children from white foster and potential adoptive families based on reasons evidence indicates were related to race." The complainant claimed this was illegal under two "acts"; The Multiethnic Placement Act (1996) and the Adoption and Families Safety Act (1997). In essence, these two acts say you can't discriminate in the adoption process based on race when reunification with biological parent(s) is not viable. Now, charges of cultural ineptitude provided the reasoning for Guilford County to remove True from the Rhoads' care. Mind you, Guilford County had found the Rhoads to be excellent foster parents, caregivers, whatever adjectives you care to use. Now, it seems, they suck! Really? Let me summarize for you, dear reader, the alleged reasons for the removal of True from his "family" that are part of the public record in this case. 

    During their foster care of True, Mrs. Rhoads (a licensed cosmetologist, whose clients include various ethnic groups, including blacks) was criticized for requesting to cut True's hair. They were afraid she'd screw it up. It also seems that the Rhoads gave True a nickname; Truman. This nickname was deemed "uppity." That's a quote. It escapes me how the name Truman is "uppity." But...whatever. I don't understand Mandarin Chinese or Stupid, either. Finally, the caseworker testified that True should be in a home with people who "understand his plight" as a "Black male in America." [Emphasis mine] Are you kidding me? Uh-oh. Don't do it, boss.

    Look, I'm not an idiot. And I can read. I understand that True, like many of his fellow African-American youngsters will probably face more than their fair share of obstacles that may be foreign to their white friends or even their Hispanic or Asian friends. But if I may, without getting too riled up here...doesn't one think that True's plight might be made a tad easier in an adoptive setting with two loving parents? Everybody wants to follow the science, right? Well, numbers may not be science but they can offer reasonable predictions with regard to life's outcomes. 

    The fact of the matter is, close to 70% of young black kids are raised by single moms. And most of these moms work their asses off. But sometimes it's just not enough. Blacks are about 11% of the population. Many of these kids are growing up and adding to the numbers of homicide deaths and homicide perpetrators that already far exceed that 11%. And at the risk of getting hate mail, I'm not even going to get into the death toll taking place in our cities where young black men are killing other black men. These numbers also far exceed white-on-black crime, let alone the minuscule number, albeit heinous, of police killings of young black men. 

    And if you want to write me or comment about your knowledge of the sociological issues that are compelling young black men to commit crime...have at it. It still won't change the fact that growing up in a stable, two-parent home is a good way to start a life, black or white. I think True will agree. In that environment his chances increase exponentially to have a successful, well-adjusted, and happy life. I mean, inter-racial marriages are increasing every year and not to put too fine a point on it...are normal. Nobody cares. And those that do care don't deserve your time. White kids listen to hip-hop and rap with their black friends. Black kids listen to heavy metal and country music with their white friends. And Guilford County is worried about Scott and Ginger Rhoads?  

    And can I briefly touch on "understanding his plight" as a "Black male in America"? If the case worker is talking about the history of slavery, Jim Crow, or how the Declaration of Independence didn't live up to its words for Black citizens for far too long, I'm pretty sure he'll learn all of that in school...and more. But tell me, will he learn of Judge Clarence Thomas, Booker T. Washington, Frederick Douglass, or Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.? Men whose philosophies of equality, perseverance, education, self-reliance, and yes, love of country seem to go unheeded by today's generations of Black and White young people alike? Why not give the Rhoads a chance to do this?

    True has been in foster care for over 3 years now. You wanna tell me that everything else being equal, it's better for a black kid to be raised by black parents? I'm all in. But don't tell me that foster care is better than a loving couple, no matter what color they are. You're gonna have to do better than that. Being in foster care for years at a time for any child regardless of skin color is stressful. The prolonged uncertainty can lead to life-long problems in social, emotional, and intellectual development. Right now, True has no hope of reunification with his mother OR being adopted. He's stuck. In foster care. And the numbers for young black kids in foster care are getting worse and worse every year. Foster care, while important in the short term is something that is supposed to be temporary for True (and others like him), and would have been were it not for the morons of this world. Every year, approximately 250,000 kids enter foster care. Wouldn't it have been nice to have at least one less child enter that system for the long-term?

    Look, I would love for every kid in foster care to be reunited with their biological parent(s). But I'm not telling any of you something you don't already know when I say, sometimes, life sucks. But True actually got thrown a life-line. A real, loving life-line named Scott and Ginger Rhoads. And the state of North Carolina fucked it up. What they did is not only grossly illegal and a clear violation of civil rights, but is morally unconscionable. 

write to Peter: magtour@icloud.com